


Estel

by ChrissyStriped



Series: Don't forget the Light [2]
Category: TOLKIEN J. R. R. - Works & Related Fandoms, The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Anal Sex, Angband, Escape, Family Secrets, Fighting, Helpful Superior, Internal Conflict, M/M, Orc Attack, Protective Older Brothers, Public Blow Jobs, Slavery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-02
Updated: 2019-10-05
Packaged: 2020-11-22 03:11:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20867252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChrissyStriped/pseuds/ChrissyStriped
Summary: Sharû comes home from a raid to find his mother gave birth to twins - and one of them doesn't look like he should.





	1. A Hunt

**Author's Note:**

> You might remember Sharû from Mighty Love. This story is set at the time of Melkor's imprisonment in Mandos, and thus before Mablung came to Angband, so it can be read on its own.

The arrow shot past Sharû’s face, so close that he felt the draft, he pulled his head back. Too close. But no time to think. Always moving, not thinking about how often he would come close to death until they had conquered the village. The defenders sat in the trees and they were very good with their bows.

Sharû held his shield over his head, but that made it hard to see his way. He cursed when he stumbled over a root. His comrades were to his right and left, they formed a loose circle around the village, no one should get away. Angband needed new slaves, they needed the elves alive.

Sharû carried a sword on his belt, but he had a club in his hand. _Immobilise them, don’t kill them_, was the order. That was easier said than done. Elves tended to fight to the death. They knew what waited for them if they got caught. They would never see their beloved wood again, once they had been led through Angband’s gates.

Sharû hated the wood. Branches everywhere that wanted to gouge his eyes out and thorns that tangled in his armour. And how was he supposed to orient himself here? He’d rather hunt in the mountains. But chamois and ibex weren’t the desired game today. He saw a movement in the corner of his eye and deflected the spear-thrust with his shield. With two quick steps he was too close for the elf to use his spear effectively again.

His first strike shattered the shaft, the second swiped the elf off his feet. A lighter strike to the head made sure that he wouldn’t rise soon again. Sharû tied him quickly and continued. The village was more important. They outnumbered the defenders three to one – the leaders always took care that the numbers were to their favour. They needed to catch the women and children before they could run away.

Sharû’s thoughts strayed to his own mother, she was pregnant again, but he pushed the thought far away. He mustn’t think now. He was a soldier, he had a mission and he couldn’t afford pity for those elves. Not now, not here. He had to harden his heart or he wouldn’t survive. The village was in sight now, a few of the leaf houses already burning, some of his comrades had been faster than him.

Sharû hurried, he didn’t want to be last, it was never good to attract attention. A boy, scarcely more than a child, ran at him with a large knife. Sharû caught his wrist and turned it until he let go of the knife. The eyes of the boy were wide with fear as he looked at him. Sharû tied his hands on his back. The boy screamed something at him, Sharû didn’t understand it, his language was too different, but he was sure that it wasn’t something nice. He cuffed him on the head. “Shut up”, he growled and threw him to the floor. They would pick up the prisoners later.

Sharû ran to his comrades and helped to disarm the rounded up elves and tie them together. A quick count added up to seventy adults and around twenty children from infant to almost adults. A good raid, Sharû relaxed a little. He grinned when one of his comrades groped a female’s breast. They were allowed to have their fun with the prisoners and no one wanted to miss out on that. Sharû let his gaze move over the males. One of the elves returned his gaze with hate burning in his eyes. Sharû’s grin became broader.

After a fight, when his blood was boiling, he liked a challenge. Not that a bound elf was much of a challenge, but they always fought. Sharû memorised the elf’s face. That one would be his after they set up camp. The last elves had been rounded up. Sharû shut his ears to the crying of the children. He mustn’t let it touch him. He mustn’t! Although the disappointed eyes of his mother haunted him. She wouldn’t agree with his actions. But they were the enemy and you didn’t pity your enemy. Sharû pushed a prisoner, who didn’t walk fast enough, forward.

Sharû leaned against a tree, the bark rough against his bare legs. The elf, who had glowered at him earlier, knelt before him, his arms tied on his back. Sharû had buried his hand in his hair, the other held a knife to his throat so he wouldn’t get ideas. Oh, it aroused him to think that the elf would have surely loved to bite him. He thrust into the warm mouth while he watched what happened closer to the fire.

Sharû didn’t like to be in the centre of attention, but he surely liked to watch. The flickering flames of the fire made it look unreal. Body parts that suddenly came into light and vanished as quickly in the shadows. The sound of flesh on flesh, moans, screams. Sharû's thrusts became faster. He tightened his grip in the slave’s hair when he made a strangled sound and tried to twist free. “Stop it!”, Sharû growled a little breathlessly. He was close.

He realised that someone watched him but he didn’t care just now. He came, buried deep in the elf’s throat. He pushed him away and leaned heavy against the tree, his heart beating wildly. “That looked so fucking hot”, Zirkash said, he had already opened his trousers and was stroking his cock. “Let me have a go at him?” He grinned wickedly. Sharû growled, he still had his knife in hand and moved now in front of the elf. He wouldn’t have ceded a piece of rotten meat to Zirkash.

“He’s mine”, he barked at the other orc. “Find yourself another one.” Zirkash was his personal enemy, they hadn’t gotten along since they were children. Not to mention that he would lose face if he let someone take his loot. “Are you sure that’s wise, Sharû?” Zirkash tucked his cock away and unsheathed his own knife. “I’m better than you.” “You wish!” Sharû bared his teeth. If anything they were each other’s equals.

He attacked without another word. Zirkash dodged deftly, they both still wore armour. They were in enemy territory. Although this evening was given over to amusement and celebration of the successful raid they weren’t so foolish to lower their vigilance. Sharû deflected Zirkash’s knife with his arm guard, dodged a fist and punched him in the face with his left fist. Zirkash stumbled back and Sharû pursued him – at least he intended to. Suddenly there were arms that pulled him pack.

“Let go of your knives!” Sharû obeyed his captain’s voice and stopped fighting against the orc that held him. He saw Zirkash do the same and grinned as he saw the blood running from his nose. “Zirkash wanted to challenge me for my loot, sir”, he growled ere his enemy could tell the story differently. “Keep your gob shut!”, Captain Brizagh barked at him. “I told all of you that I don’t want fighting for loot.” He looked around. “Where is he, the prisoner in question?”

Sharû turned his head, but the elf wasn’t where he had left him. Sharû pierced the darkness at the roots of the tree with his eyes, hoping the elf might have hidden there to get away from the fight. He gulped, Zirkash’s eyes glinted maliciously. “Did you lose him, Sharû?” Brizagh gave him a look that made him shut up. “We postpone the punishment until we get home. But”, he turned his eyes on Sharû, “you both are going to have to answer for the escape of a slave. Be sure of that.” Sharû shivered.

“Let me search for him, sir. His hand were tied to his back, he can’t be far.” Brizagh shook his head. “I can’t risk a soldier for a slave! I won’t allow you to run through the wood alone, soldier. The two of you have earned yourselves the next watch! And if I hear that you fight each other again, you’ll get more than a tanned hide, when we are back home.” Brizagh growled deep in his throat and turned around. His men let go of Sharû and followed him.

Sharû stooped to lift his knife without letting Zirkash out of his eyes. And all this just because this asshole had wanted his prisoner. And now the elf was gone. Sharû turned to the dark wood. If he weren’t so deep in the mire he might have even been happy for him. ‘Good luck, elfling’, he thought. He was sure that the elf would get rid of his bonds given enough time.

Sharû hurried through the dark corridors. His mother had been heavy with child when he had set out. Was his new little brother or sister already born? He smiled at the thought. Not, that it was the first time for him, he had four younger siblings, but it was a wonder every time. He had been loath to leave but he was a soldier, he had to go where he was sent. They'd been back only long enough for Zirkash und him to get their punishment, is back was sore under his shirt.

His comrades would be amusing themselves now with the women they were allowed as reward for the successful raid. Sharû had left as soon as he could without drawing attention. Not that he was completely averse to such amusements, but... he preferred males and then there were his mother’s words that echoed in his head when he looked a slave in the eye: ‘They are your siblings, too.’

Yes, he had still known his grandmother, he knew what she had been – and he knew, too, why his father’s body was covered in scars. Still, he mustn’t let himself be guided by this knowledge. He was an orc, he was a soldier, he had to do what he was ordered to do. Tomorrow he would be deployed to the mines again and that meant to push the slaves – without care for their wellbeing. He mustn’t let it touch him, his heart belonged to his family alone.

Sharû opened the door to the apartment of his family. It was quiet. It was the middle of the day, his father and his brothers would be at work, the younger ones at their training – they were trained from childhood to be soldiers. Still, something... Sharû left his sword in the living room and opened the door to his parent’s bed room. He smelled it immediately, the smell of baby was unmistakable. His mother looked up, the fear in her eyes turned to relief when she recognised him.

“Sharû, you are back! Do you want to say hello to your new brothers?” She held a bundle to her breast, another lay in the cradle next to the bed. Sharû was suddenly tense, something wasn’t right. She looked so worried. “Twins?” Sharû licked his lips. “Is everything alright, mother?” She shook her head. “Come over, Sharû.” Sharû sat down at the edge of the bed and froze when he saw the pale face of his youngest brother, wispy blond hair covered his head. Sharû knew what that meant.

“Mother...”, he croaked. “Are they both...” She shook her head. “Only him, his brother is like you and your other siblings. Sharû, I have to ask something very difficult of you and if it ever comes out, it will mean the death of all of us, but... he is my child, I can’t give him up.” “You want me to lie.” Sharû reached out and caressed the little pink fist of his brother. “What did you tell the evaluator?” “That I gave birth to one child only. No one must know, Sharû! Never. I beg you.”

Sharû shook his head and kissed her cheek. “Do you really think you need to ask for this? The only hard thing will be that he will be trapped in here.” “Better than death or slavery.” She relaxed visibly. “The others... are you sure that they can keep quiet about it? Mûr is only seven.” “I couldn’t tell him everything, of course, but he knows that it is an important secret. That he can only talk with us about it. We decided to take the risk.” “And I’ll carry it with you.” Sharû gripped his mother’s hand tightly. “We are family, we keep together.”

A shiver ran down his spine. ‘They are your siblings, too.’ And suddenly it was true. His little brother was an elf. His fate would be that of the slaves in the mines if not for his family’s love. How could he protect the life of this little child with his own and at the same time put the whip to the backs of men that maybe were, too, born by an orc mother? ‘Enemies’, Sharû thought. ‘They are our enemies.’ And maybe that was the case with the prisoners of war, but even they... he was only two generations away from them and on his father’s side not even that.

A little wail came from the cradle and Sharû stood up to greet his second new brother. The boy looked at him with golden eyes when he lifted him up. “Hello, little brother”, Sharû murmured and rocked him gently. He was not in danger, he looked exactly like a little orc should. Sharû kissed his forehead and brought him to his mother so he could drink. “I’ll look after them, both of them”, Sharû said. His mother smiled proudly at him.


	2. "They are your siblings, too."

Sharû was leaning against the wall of the tunnel, watching the slaves he was supervising. It was his task to take care that they didn’t work too slowly. It would be better for them, too. To not reach the daily quota meant whipping and no fodder for them. They’d been here a while and suitably docile, he hadn’t a lot of work to do. When the drums that denoted the end of the workday sounded and Sharû gave the order, they lined up in front of the wagon and lifted the towing ropes.

“And go!” They would need half an hour or more with the full wagon. Sharû didn’t push them, they knew themselves that they wouldn’t eat tonight if they took too long. He didn’t like to torture slaves. And his thoughts were elsewhere. His pale-skinned, fair-haired brother was always on his mind. Could his mother really hope to hide him? Wouldn’t he end like these men one day? Sharû watched them with growing unease. They were dirty, their bowed backs covered in welts – most of his comrades didn’t spare the whip. Sharû saw the abrasions on their shoulders where the coarse rope was chafing.

One of the slaves stumbled and fell to his knees. ‘Stand up’, Sharû begged silently. ‘Please, please stand up.’ “On your feet!”, he barked at him. “Back to your place.” The elf winced when he let the whip crack, but Sharû had aimed above his head. Only a warning. He hoped he wouldn’t have to do more. The slave staggered to his feet. He trembled with exhaustion. All of them were exhausted and the wagon was full, they had done a good job today. They wouldn’t be punished... if they were fast enough. Sharû gulped. “Forward”, he snarled.

Slowly the wagon gained speed again, it was heavy. He was strong and well fed, while the slaves barely got enough to eat to survive. He could see their ribs and count their vertebrae. Sharû tucked the whip into his belt, moved behind the wagon and pushed. Heads were turned when they noticed that it was suddenly easier to pull, but only one dared to look directly at him – the one who had fallen earlier.

“Pull”, Sharû said. Soon sweat was running down his back under his leather armour. He wasn’t sure if they still were pulling or if they let him do all the work, but he didn’t care. He stopped only when they came closer to busier regions, where multiple tunnels met and the risk to be seen became too high. “Not a word, to no one”, he ordered gruffly and wiped the sweat off his forehead. He hoped that no one would notice his exhaustion. The muscles in his shoulders and thighs were burning.

He had the night shift. Guard duty in the slave quarters that were only a big cave where the slaves slept on the floor. No beds, they didn’t even grant them blankets. Sharû leaned against the wall, dozing a little, his comrade was making the round. Not that a lot happened at night. The slaves were much too exhausted at evening to try anything, they slept like stones. He heard a sound from the dark cave, then steps. Or maybe not all of them.

Sharû straightened trying to look watchful. The elf approached him and Sharû strengthened his grip on his spear, but then he saw that the elf’s hands were empty. What could an unarmed, malnourished slave do to him? He probably weighed twice as much as the elf. The slave looked down at him, meeting his eyes with a serious expression. “Thank you”, he said and took one of Sharû's hands between his. His fingers caressed his palm before he kissed the knuckles, Sharû stopped breathing. “For what you did today. Thank you.”

Sharû realised that it was one of the slaves he had helped with the wagon today. He wouldn’t have recognised him, he didn’t memorise faces. Sharû looked closer at him and saw his skinned knees. The one who had fallen? “You were hard at work. The wagon was heavy because you had been hardworking. It would have been unjust if you had been punished for that.” The elf laughed mirthlessly. “Nothing down here is just. But you... you could have whipped me and didn’t.” The elf licked his lips. “If... in return for... I wouldn’t struggle.” His fingers shyly touched Sharû’s crotch.

Sharû lifted his eyebrows. He was surprised, but... his comrade would be gone a while. He pulled the slave close, licked his neck. Iron and dirt, but the taste didn’t bother him, to the contrary. He felt heat gather in his groin. His hand kneaded the elf’s buttocks, he only wore a dirty loincloth. Sharû opened his trousers and pushed the elf’s hand down. “Touch me, elfling”, he ordered and growled when the slave started to stroke him. Sharû’s hands wandered over the elf’s body, he was getting hard quickly.

The elf’s fingers wrapped around his cock, first hard than only a gentle caress, wandered down to massage his balls, then up again, the thumb slid over the slick head. Sharû grunted with pleasure. “On your knees”, he growled. He had weapon oil in his belt pouch. Sharû grinned when he oiled his ‘spear’ lavishly. He pushed an oily finger inside the slave to loosen him a little. He didn’t like to fuck unprepared slaves if he had another choice.

Sharû entered the slave with a slow thrust, his muscles quivered around him and Sharû halted to savour the feeling. His hands closed around the slave’s hips when he started to move, slowly at first but soon more quickly. The slapping of his belly against the slave’s backside and his own growls were the only sounds in the tunnel. The elf didn’t make a sound, no screams, no moans, not even a whimper. Sharû bit his shoulder when he came to stifle the scream that rose in his throat. He tasted blood, his teeth had pierced the skin.

He caught his breath and stood up, closing his trousers. The elf stumbled to his feet, his knees were bleeding again. “Is my debt paid with this?”, he asked. Sharû caught a short flicker of revulsion in his eyes before his face became blank again. Eyes like those of his youngest brother. Sharû suddenly was ashamed of himself, he felt sick. ‘Debt?’, he thought. ‘There never was a debt.’ But the slave had thought so.

“Yes”, he answered gruffly. “You can go.” He hadn’t been the first slave he had taken – and he wouldn’t be the last – but just now he felt so bad about it. Did his mother know what he was doing down here? She had to, she couldn’t be so naive to believe that this didn’t happen. 'She would be ashamed of you, if she had seen you just now', Sharû thought and closed his eyes to hold back tears. He shouldn’t have done this. It wasn’t right to satisfy his desire at the cost of those weaker than him. But... he knew that he wasn’t a good person, He would do it again. He had needs and he wasn’t good at suppressing his desires.

Sharû saluted the Maia who sat behind his desk. He had sent for him, Sharû had no idea why and did his best to hide his tremble. He saw him now and then in the mines or at drill, but he wasn’t important enough that a Maia would speak to him directly. It was better to not arouse attention. What had he done? “At ease.” The Maia leaved through a file. His? What was in it that the Maia wanted to see him in person? Sharû felt his stomach churn.

“You have a remarkable success rate.” The Maia watched him with intense eyes. “I’ve been watching you for quite a while. You are kind to the slaves.” Sharû gulped. Was he expected to defend himself now? But the Maia hadn’t asked him a direct question and he had learned that it was better to keep his mouth shut. “Why?”

“Because... I think that they work better when we don’t beat them for every triviality, sir. It only weakens them. I know that we are instructed differently, but...” “I like how you work. And you can read and write, yes?” Sharû nodded, his mother had taught him. “You are aware that Captain Hrak is being transferred? I want you for that post.” Sharû stared at the Maia. He wanted him to lead because he was _nice _to the slaves.

The Maia stood up and walked around the table. “Congratulations to your promotion, Captain Sharû.” Sharû shook the offered hand, he was dumbfounded. “I suggest that you continue as before.” The Maia winked at him. “But discretely.” “Of course, sir. Always.” He knew that not everyone would like it. Damn, he hadn’t thought that the _Maia _would regard it with favour. “Very good. Dismissed, Captain. I’ll send you someone, who will show you your new office.”


	3. "He is my brother."

“What are we going to do?”, Neshi walked up and down the room, she threw a worried look at Estel. All of them were home. Rusha and her, Zak, Khûru and Irack and the twins, Estel and Ithrû. Sharû rubbed his face. He wanted to mourn, his heart hurt. Their mother was dead, she had died in childbed and their youngest sibling, too. And father... Sharû knew what it looked liked when elves had given themselves up and their father looked like that. They hadn't been able to persuade him to leave the catacombs. He wouldn’t outlive their mother for long.

He shook himself, he had to pull himself together, keep a clear head. Yesterday the order had come to clear the apartment, it would be given to someone else. That wouldn’t be a problem for most of them. It hurt, of course to have to give up their home, but Sharû had known that they lived on stolen time. They should have been separated a long time ago, but somehow they had been overlooked all these years.

There weren’t families anymore. The little ones were taken away from their mothers as soon as they were weaned and when they were grown, they were expected to couple with as many women as possible. They weren’t meant to have anyone close to their hearts. Sharû shivered when he imagined the life Neshi would have. But it was better than what waited for Estel. Neshi was clearly orc, with no elvish traits and women like her were treated well. She had no children... she had been overlooked, too.

“We can’t do anything”, Rusha said. “We have to turn him in. Maybe this way we can hide that he is our brother...” “Rusha, you can’t mean that!”, Neshi hissed at him. Sharû shook his head. His oldest brother had always been the... most ruthless of them. “I won’t allow that my baby brother is being made a slave”, Sharû growled.

“And how do you want to protect him? Look at him!” Estel winced when Rusha pointed at him. “He isn’t one of us, a fool can see that!” “He is family!” Sharû saw that Estel was on the brink of tears. “We’ll find a way, little brother”, he said softly and embraced him. Estel was twenty and he hadn’t left their apartment once in those twenty years. Every time they had visitors they had had to hide him, he didn’t know anyone but them.

“I’m afraid, Sharû”, he whispered. Sharû held him closer. “Nothing will happen to you, I promise.” He wouldn’t disappoint his mother. She had loved them all, he had never doubted that, but Estel had been her favourite. Estel – Hope – she had given him that name. He was their past and the hope that it wouldn’t always be like it was now.

“I’ll take him with me to the mines”, Sharû said and turned again to his oldest brother. “He’ll pose as my slave. I’m captain, they’ll let me get away with it. And there are ways out from down there. I’ll find a way to smuggle him out.” “That’s dangerous, Sharû”, Zak said. He was an overseer in the mines, in another section. “You know as well as I do that the exits are watched. How do you want to explain to the guards that you want to go out with an elf – they’ll think you are deserting.”

“I’ll figure something out.” Sharû dragged his canine over his lover lip. Maybe, just maybe, he could ask Mormirion... what, to help them? 'Are you mad?', he berated himself. The Maia was fairer than most but he still was a _Maia_. But maybe he could ask him for a pass under a pretext. “I’ll find a way.” He looked at each of his siblings.

“We always knew that it is dangerous to hide Estel. It simply got a little more dangerous now. I’ll take the greatest risk, but if I’m found it might still be that all of you are punished. You know what grandmother was. Mother always tried to not let us turn into what our Masters want us to be. So let us act in a way that would make her proud of us.” He knew that not all of them would have helped Estel for his own sake. There was jealousy for the love their mother had felt for him. But no one would have wanted to make their mother sad. “Don’t betray us.”

Neshi was the first to unsheathe her knife and cut her palm. “I swear by my blood – blood that links us – that I will do everything in my power to keep Estel’s secret.” Sharû relaxed when the last of them had vowed. No one would dare to break a blood oath. He sighed. “We have to say farewell now.” He probably wouldn’t see them again. He embraced Neshi tightly. “Take care and hold your sharp tongue”, he begged her. “I’ll make an effort.” He felt her tremble in his arms and realised that she was afraid, too, she just hid it better than Estel.

“I’ll visit you if I can.” He would protect her too, if he could. Ithrû looked up to him, he was a head shorter than Sharû. “Don’t abandon him, please.” His voice was husky. “I couldn’t survive if something happened to Estel.” They were twins, Sharû knew that there was a bond between them that no one but them really understood. When Ithrû had been wounded in battle for the first time, Estel had complained about a pain in his arm for days – only when Ithrû had come home, his broken arm in a sling, had they understood that Estel felt his twin’s pain.

“I’ll protect him with my life, boy. Mind _you _don’t get eaten.” Ithrû worked in the kennels and the wolves weren’t exactly tame. Ithrû smiled wryly. “I’ll give my best. And don’t say farewell. We _will _see each other again.” Sharû shook his head, he saw the certainness in Ithrû’s eyes. “How can you be so sure.” “I... just know.” He turned to Estel. “You have to be strong now, onóna. We have to go separate ways now.” Estel shook his head, tears ran down his cheeks. “But how can we live without each other? We belong together.”

Ithrû put his hand on his chest. “We are always together, in here. Think of that, whenever you feel lonely. We are one soul, no one can take that away from us.” Estel nodded and smiled bravely. Sharû had a lump in his throat, too. “Let’s go, Estel”, he croaked. He didn’t want to draw out their parting any longer. Zak came with them, they had the same way. He was the only one of his siblings he was sure of not losing sight of.

“I still can’t believe that you are risking this, but if you need help, call me”, he told Sharû. “You don’t have to do this alone.” He was only a year younger than Sharû, they had always been close. “Thank you.” But Sharû knew that he wouldn’t do it. He wouldn’t endanger his siblings needlessly. He would protect his family.

Sharû closed the door of his office that was his bedroom, too, behind them. He hadn’t lived at his parents’ for a long time, it was too cramped there. Still, it had always been... home. Now he had only this. He sighed and looked at Estel. He would protect him from becoming a slave but to do that he had to make him look like one. He gulped. “You have to undress, Estel”, he said. “Why?” Estel looked at him with innocent eyes and Sharû felt worse with ever second. Didn’t he know... No, of course not, he had never seen a slave and mother hadn’t allowed them to talk about things like this in his presence.

“Do you trust me, little brother?” “Of course.” Estel smiled at him. “You are my brother.” Sharû smiled weakly. “Yes, yes I am. We need to act as if you were my slave so no one will be surprised to see you here. But you have to look the part. My... a slave who warms my bed wouldn’t wear clothes.” Estel shivered. “Is that... is that what will happen to me if someone finds out?” “Yes.” Sharû took him by the shoulders. “But that won’t happen, I’ll see to it. But you have to do what I say for the deception to work. And if a stranger is here, you must never contradict me.”

Sharû shivered at the thought that he might be forced to punish his brother. He gulped down his tears. He was... it had all happened so fast, he hadn’t even been able to properly grieve for his mother. “Tell me what I have to do”, Estel whispered, he understood that it was a serious business. “Undress and then I’ll explain everything to you.”

Sharû turned his back to him and rummaged around his desk. Somewhere... He rarely had slaves long enough to bother with a collar. He couldn’t risk to develop feelings. Finally he found it at the bottom of his toy drawer. Sharû hurried to close the drawer again, he didn’t want Estel to see the contents.

“I’m sorry, but you have to wear this.” Sharû wrapped the collar around his neck but took care to not close it too tightly. “It will show everyone that I claim you for myself and you are not... available for everyone.” Sharû coughed embarrassed. Estel’s eyes were wide, he shivered but that could be the temperature. Sharû pulled the blanked off his bed and laid it around his shoulders. “Are you cold? I’ll make a fire. Sit down.” Sharû kindled a fire before filling two glasses with wine.

“I’m usually away most of the day and I’ll lock the door then, but it’s my workspace, too.” Sharû eyed the papers on his desk unhappily. He could read and write but it was strenuous. “That means, now and then people will come here to talk to me. I want you to hole up in bed and not draw attention to you. It will be best for both of us if no one notices you.” Estel nodded. He was a little pale. “What else?”

“As I said: Don’t contradict me, the best would be if you don’t say anything.” Sharû rubbed his neck. “Except if someone asks you a question, you have to answer then. Don’t look anyone in the eyes. And if you have to talk to someone, call them ‘herdir’. I promise, I won’t let them do anything to you.” He didn’t say that he wouldn’t be able to keep his superiors off. But Mormirion wouldn’t challenge him for his property and hopefully no other Maia would bother with him.

Sharû stood up when Mormirion entered the room. The Maia was his superior and also this way he could bring himself in a position to stand between Estel and him. The Maia lifted his eyebrows. “New slave? May I?” Sharû felt a growl rise in his throat, he wanted to say no, but he was a _Maia_ and he knew – hoped – that Mormirion wouldn’t hurt Estel. Not with his collar around his neck. “Be my guest”, he said and tried to seem relaxed, but his hands were clenched.

“Come here, boy.” Mormirion waved Estel over who had crawled under the blanked. He looked frightened at Sharû. Sharû could only nod at him. ‘Do it!’, he thought. Mormirion lifted both eyebrows when Estel came to stand before him. Sharû closed his eyes, he hadn’t thought of telling him that he had to kneel down. “He has no manners”, Mormirion noted dryly, he didn’t seem to be angry. “But he’s pretty...” He trailed off.

Sharû opened his eyes again and saw the Maia looking back and forth between them. He knew it! Sharû had no idea how, but he was suddenly sure that Mormirion knew that Estel and he were brothers. Mormirion slowly crossed his arms over his chest, his eyes bored into Sharû’s. “You owe me an explanation, captain, and for your sake I hope that it is a good one.”

Sharû slumped under his gaze, but then he straightened again. Mormirion couldn’t brush this aside, that he knew, but he wouldn’t give up, not in front of Estel. “Estel is my brother, sir. As you see, he doesn’t look like an orc should. He has a twin who turned out as desired. My parents hid Estel, no one outside my family knows of him, but now that my mother is dead, everything changed.” Sharû knelt before the Maia. “I beg you, sir, please don’t give us away. I... he is my brother, I couldn’t watch him being hurt.”

Mormirion frowned. “But why... oh, you hide him in plain view. He isn’t really your slave.” Sharû shook his head. “Of course not!” “You must know that you can’t keep this secret for long. He has to leave.” “I know.” Sharû lowered his head. It didn’t sound as if Mormirion wanted to give them away. But he mustn’t hope. “Stand up.” Mormirion waved his hand impatiently. “I won’t hurt him. What do you intend to do?”

“I wanted to smuggle him out through one of the tunnels, but...” “Not a good idea without a pass.” “I know, that’s why he’s still here.” Mormirion sighed. “I’ll help you, but that has to stay a secret, captain.” “Of course, sir. I... thank you.” Sharû watched him in bewilderment as he walked to the desk and took feather and ink. “Your mission is to get this elf out of Angband, captain. The guards don’t have to know why. You have two days.”

Sharû stared at the pass in his hand. “I’m deeply in your depth, sir.” Mormirion shook his head. “Is this why you are so nice to the slaves?”, he asked gently. Sharû coughed embarrassed. “That, too. My mother... she looked like an orc, but she had an elf’s soul. I know, where I come from.” Mormirion squeezed his shoulder, a strange look in his eyes, then he shook his head. “Report to me when you are back.” “As you command, sir.”

“He’s helping us?”, Estel whispered when the Maia had left. “It seems so.” Sharû read the words on the pass a second time. It was only a piece of paper, but Mormirion’s elegant signature made it incredibly valuable. He embraced his brother. “You’ll be safe.” As safe as one could be outside of Angband. “Dress. We’ll leave immediately, it’s far.” He trusted on Mormirion to invent a reason for his absence. Estel pulled his clothes from under the bed, he looked much more relaxed when he was dressed again.

“Come, little brother.” Sharû smiled at him. “Let’s go.” Before they made their way to the tunnel, Sharû turned to the armoury and storeroom. Estel would need food and something to defend himself with. He gave him a short sword, they had trained together as well as it was possible in the closeness of the apartment. “Don’t hesitate to defend yourself. It’s dangerous outside.” Estel gulped. “Where am I supposed to go? I don’t know anything.”

Sharû hesitated. He had concentrated so much on getting him out of Angband that he hadn’t thought about what came after. “You should search for elves. You look like one. But you shouldn’t tell them about your family.” Sharû smiled wryly. “That would only earn you their mistrust.” Estel nodded, his lip pulled between his teeth. “Go east... I’ll show you what stars to follow when we are outside.”

Sharû used side corridors at first, he didn’t want to draw attention to them. The junctions became scanter as did the torches as they travelled further away from the main parts of the mines. They saw well in the dark, but even their eyes needed light. Sharû had taken a store of torches with him and now lighted one of them on the last one. They followed the tunnel, darkness before and behind them, above them the mountains.

The tunnel Sharû had chosen would bring them far out into the plain, there were a few that led further east, but Mormirion had given him only two days. They walked in silence. Sharû wondered why Mormirion had helped them. The Maia didn’t owe him anything and it wouldn’t give him an advantage. He didn’t understand it.

Finally Sharû saw light in front of them and knew that they were approaching the guard post. He tensed on instinct. Maybe it was just a nasty game? But no, Mormirion didn’t play games. The Maia was very upfront. Estel looked at him nervously when the soldiers stepped in their way. “Don’t worry”, murmured Sharû and gave them the pass. ‘An important task’, Mormirion had written and that he would come back alone.

The soldiers saluted, he was higher ranking than them, but they examined the pass closely and Sharû was glad that it was real. He had thought about forging Mormirion’s signature. “Good speed, captain.” The document was given back to him and the soldiers cleared the way. Estel was eyed curiously but the guards didn’t ask about him. Sharû only breathed easier when their torch was the only light source again.

“The worst is over”, he told Estel, a smile on his lips. Estel smiled back sadly. “I can’t believe that I won’t see my family again.” “Well, your brother thinks differently. Who knows?” But Sharû didn’t believe it. They were soldiers, each fight could be their last – and the only possibility to see Estel again would be if he were caught. He didn’t wish that for his brother. “Mother did give you your name on purpose, don’t give up hope.”

They walked on, Sharû lost every sense of time without the drums that gave structure to their life in Angband, but finally the tunnel ended at a ladder that led to a wooden roof. Sharû knew that it looked like a piece of grass from outside. He gave the torch to Estel and climbed up to push at the trapdoor with his shoulders. It opened in a shower of earth and bugs. They stood together under an unclouded sky.

Estel’s eyes gleamed. “It’s so beautiful. The stars!” Sharû smiled. “Yes, that’s the stars mother always spoke of.” He turned east. “Can you see the bright, red star, two hands over the horizon?” Estel nodded after a moment. “There’s east. Always follow the star, it doesn’t move. Eventually you’ll come to a river and on the other side of it, a forest. Elves are living there, maybe you’ll hear them sing. Search for them. Tell them that you escaped from Angband.”

Estel nodded, his chin trembled. He threw his arms around Sharû’s neck. “I’ll miss you, brother. All of you. Come with me!” Sharû shook his head and patted his hair. “I can’t. You can’t be free in Angband, and I can’t be free outside. The elves would distrust me. I can’t deny my origin. You aren’t an orc, Estel, you never were – but I am. I wish you a happy, long life and a strong heart. May the stars always shine for you.”

Estel sniffled. “And for you, Sharû.” He slowly stepped back. Sharû watched him go until he couldn’t see him anymore and climbed back into the tunnel, putting the trapdoor back in its place. He hoped that Ithrû was right. The thought of never seeing Estel again ripped at his heart. And he hoped that the elves would take him in. He was a stranger. What reason would they have to trust him? He had to hope for the best. A better life than being imprisoned in his office. Sharû smiled at himself when he remembered the look on Estel’s face at seeing the stars for the first time. The boy would make a great elf.

Sharû knocked on Mormirion’s door. It was the first time that he visited the Maia in his private rooms, but it was late and the Maia had ordered him to report to him immediately at his return. Mormirion opened the door himself, that surprised Sharû. He had expected a slave. He wasn’t wearing uniform, only black trousers and a long, red tunic. He looked good... Sharû quickly pushed the thought away. He might look like an elf, but he wasn’t and he would skin him alive if he knew that he thought of him in _that _way.

“Come in, captain. I suppose everything went according to plan?” "It did." Sharû nodded and followed the Maia to his living room. “I want to thank you, sir. I’m deeply in your depth.” Mormirion shook his head. “It would have been cruel to enslave the boy. And for what? Just because his skin is pale? Besides...” Mormirion winked at him. “I’d rather have your goodwill than your grudge.”

Sharû shrugged awkwardly. Did that really make a difference to him? He had to obey him, if he wanted or not. Mormirion seemed to read his thoughts, he said seriously: “I want your loyalty, captain.” Sharû bowed to him, not sure what to say to that. “May I ask you a question?” “Go ahead!” Mormirion offered him a seat and a glass of wine. Sharû took it gingerly. He was pretty sure that the bottle would be unaffordable for him.

“How did you know that Estel is my brother? After all, we don’t look alike. But you only needed a look to see it.” Mormirion grinned at him. “I’m a Maia. I have... special senses. To me it was as obvious that you are related as if you had the same faces. It’s in your souls. Tell me about your family, Sharû.”

Sharû licked his lips and took a sip to play for time. You didn’t talk about your relatives with your superior, it made you vulnerable. But he wasn’t in a position to decline. “They won’t be harmed, I promise", Mormirion added at his hesitation. "I’m just interested, who your parents are. You are special, Sharû. Why?”

“My father is – was – one of the First. He... I don’t know how much he remembered of his old life, he never talked about it, but it was more than it should have been, I’m sure of that.” It was safe to say this. His father was dead, they could no longer torture him. “My mother was the daughter of a slave and an orc. She birthed twelve children, nine growing up to adulthood, all of them orcs. Only Estel was different and he was lucky to have a twin who looked like an orc. We hid him in our parent’s apartment, but my parents are dead now, my siblings scattered across Angband and I had the best chance to hide him, so I took him with me.”

Sharû shrugged. “If you really wanted my loyalty, you have it now. I love my brother.” “You lived as a family?” Mormirion frowned. “That way of life shouldn’t exist anymore.” “I know. We were somehow overlooked and we didn’t report, of course. I think... call me mad, but I think my mother was the reason. She was more than a little elvish and maybe she did something to hide us.”

Mormirion cocked his head. “Maybe. It’s possible. You are full of surprises, captain.” Sharû didn’t know if that was good or bad. In his experience it was better to be inconspicuous, but Mormirion seemed to like him. Whatever the reason. Usually Maiar only held contempt for orcs. Sharû smiled warily. He shouldn’t dare to like a Maia, but he did.


End file.
